Some random photos of the Apple Orchard after it has been mowed. The photos really don’t show how great it looks, almost like a park. As you can see though, many of the trees are not blooming this year, and I have no idea why. I would love to trim a few of them (they all need it), but it’s one hell of a lot of work, and I just don’t know how long I’ll be here. 🙁
It’s the weekend and I’m starting it off with very little sleep, too much on my mind I guess. I don’t have anything planned, though I sure would like to get out and about maybe Sunday, but I really don’t have the money, so I’m not sure I’ll be able to. I guess I don’t have much to say, just feeling lost and to be honest, I’m scared shitless.
I feel like my life is in a fast downward spiral, as if it can get any lower. I keep working on the property, but I keep questioning myself why, why do this when I don’t even know if I’ll be here in a mouth or so. Wish I just had some kind of assurance that the dogs and I don’t have to, fuck, I don’t know, I just don’t fucking know. I have no-one to talk to about it. It’s a feeling of complete and total loss. To top it off, I’m fucking broke.
Getting a little tired of these fucking ticks. I found another one on the inside of my left knee. I yanked it out, but it is sort of painful where it was, maybe I didn’t get all of it, I don’t know, not like I can really see the location even with a mirror. I put some antiseptic spray on the spot. Oh well, who gives a shit anyway, I sure don’t. Not like I can even afford the co-pay of a doctor visit, so fuck it.
Update: Well, seeing as I can’t see the spot inside my knee, I took a photo with my phone. Looks like the reason it’s a bit sore, is because when I pulled the little fucker out, I pulled a small chunk of skin along with it. At least that’s what it looks like.
I don’t really enjoy doing this much mowing all at one time, but it needs to be done I guess. I got the back half of the orchard done yesterday, so today the front half, but the front main lawn needs doing as does the fenced in area. At least once it’s done, I wont have to do so much next time. I’m widening all the paths to twice the width and clearing some areas. This is to help keep the ticks down. I’ve read that once the taller grasses are mowed down, and the cuttings die, so do the ticks.
It’s going to be a long dirty day, but either way, not much else I can do, so I might as well get it done.
Went grocery shopping this morning, now I’m completely broke because of my fuckup with being overdrawn. Anyway, people…the people around here is one of the nice things about living here, the people. Stop to get gas, someone strikes up a conversation. In line to pay for groceries, someone strikes up a conversation. This happens just about every where you might go around here, just plain old nice people. One of the things I didn’t like about living down state was the people, too many are stuckup assholes.
I’m going to try and get some work done around the property today, but it looks like I might be dodging rain showers and/or thunderstorms. To do this, I had to fill a couple gas cans today, and that didn’t help with my finances, but I had zero gas, so I had to get it.
Wish I could say Happy Anniversary, but I can’t.
Now to top this day off, I’m $168 overdrawn on my bank account. Fuck! For a few weeks now I’ve been keeping enough to cover the checks I wrote to KBIC for the dumpster, well as time went by, I forgot about it. Now the checks have gone through and I’m overdrawn. I have’t been overdrawn in many years. This sucks!
I do, I wonder why I work so hard around the house trying to make it look nice. Why should I care? It’s not as if anyone will ever see what I’m doing or have done. So why do it? I don’t know. Maybe it’s just a need to keep busy, I don’t know. I’ve done a number of things inside and out that I think are nice, but why, why should I give a shit, it’s just me and the dogs.
I don’t know, I just sometimes wonder way.