I can’t, just can’t stop crying. Everything is hitting me so hard, all I do is cry. I was talking with the seller of the house I’m buying and fell apart and started crying again. I just can’t hold it back. I’m afraid of what’s happening to me, like as if I’m completely falling apart or something. I’ve been so fucking busy the past few days, having to get unexpected things done, that I haven’t got enough packing done. I am mostly packed, but it’s all the little things, it’s overwhelming me and so I break down a cry. I haven’t had any sleep is days and only a sandwich here and there to eat.
I’m just plain fucked up.
Well I tried, I tried to get some photos of the Perseid meteor shower. I went to sleep and woke up as normal around 1:00 AM, so after making some settings on the camera, I set it out side to do it’s thing…take photos for about an hour at 30 seconds per shot. After waiting for the time to pass and the camera to stop, I went to see what I got… one, one measly meteor, and a short one at that. I then went back to sleep.
I might try again tonight, but we’ll see.
Well it didn’t last long. The feeling I had yesterday, a bit of being refreshed and ready to start anew, is gone and now I’m overwhelmed with being freaked out, freaked out about closing dates, moving dates, If I’ll have time, just about everything. I’m back to being shaky with my heart pounding and my left eye isn’t focusing correctly. I’m fucking freaking out.
Tried relaxing a bit by processing another photo from yesterday, but it didn’t work, but here it is anyway.
Update: Mowed the fenced area of the yard, it was getting too long. Also, it’s getting so fucking hot and humid again I can only pack stuff for a short time before I have to sit and cool a bit before getting back to it.
I finally got out of the house to try and clear my head a bit today, it worked a little. I set out to find a path through an area that I’ve never explored, the southern side of Lake Gratiot. I took a trail just north of Gay that ran along the Big Betsy River and toward Lake Gratiot. There was a Y in the trail so I took the right/north turn, that ended after a couple miles at a Conservancy, Gratiot Lake Conservancy. Walked down a short trail to the lake, what a nice view. There was a box with maps of the area hiking trails, they looked quite nice, though I wasn’t really ready for that type of thing, but I will be back some day. So I headed back and took the left of the Y. I didn’t end up going where I thought I would due to so many logging roads in the area, but I did end up coming out onto Gratiot Lake Rd. From there I headed up to Copper Harbor and back south along the shore and then back home.
The shore line from Copper Harbor south has always had a big draw on me. Ever since I was a kid riding with my dad in his International Harvester Scout, I felt at home in the Keweenaw. No matter where I have lived in my life, the Keweenaw has always felt like home, where I belong. I stopped in a usual spot for me, walked around, took some photos, and cried.
Anyway, once I got back to the main road south out of Eagle Harbor on US-41, I hit road construction, and a lot of it. They were redoing the road all the way from Mohawk to the south side of Calumet, and a long wait for a section that was one lane. I felt like I was waiting there for ever.
Superior Shore with Storms on the Horizon
Lake Superior Shore
Big Betsy River
This photo fits my feelings today.
I’ve been trying to pack, but it’s too damn hot out and my feelings continue to take over me.
Stormy Keweenaw Bay
Well, I guess it’s time to move again. I once said this place would be my last home or move, but as per the norm, I was wrong again. By the middle(ish) of this month I will be moving to a new house. The place isn’t bad, not great, but not bad, though it does have a great building for a work shop. The house is on 20 acres with the Menge Creek running through it. It’s a 3 bedroom with 1 1/2 bath. The kitchen is quite nice and very newly remodeled. There is a pellet stove in the living room to keep things toasty during winter. The place is also at the end of the line as far as electricity, power stops at the house and goes no further. One really good thing is that there is cable to the house for good internet. Even though it’s quite remote, it’s also quite close to town, only about 10 minutes to the grocery store and about 3 minutes to the shore of Keweenaw Bay / L’Anse Bay. There is nice open area for my weather station, so that’s good.
Am I excited? No, not really, but I have to do what I have to do.
I feel so alone going through this, and so sad about having to leave the place I call Home.
Following are a few photos of the place from the listing, I hope to get some more tomorrow when I’m there to sign the purchase agreement.
Part of Yard
Shop – Out Building
Just a couple photos from the wildflower garden.
I really have nothing to say, so here’s a photo from today at Brockway Mountain.
View From Brockway